Down Syndrome girl has cosmetic surgery to 'fit in'

Courier Mail - 10 Mar 2008

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THE parents of a Down syndrome girl have caused an outcry by subjecting their daughter to cosmetic surgery to improve her appearance.

The girl had had "radical and painful" cosmetic surgery three times by the time she was five so she could "fit in" with her peers, the Daily Mail newspaper in Britain reported yesterday.

Parents of another girl told the paper that they were also considering altering her appearance in the future so she could be more "accepted".

Critics in the UK slammed the parents, with some even claiming the procedures were tantamount to child abuse. However the families hit back, saying that no one complained when "normal" children had their ears pinned back.

"Why should it be any different for a Downs child?" asked Kim Bussey, the mother of Georgia...

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I would agree with the person in the article that says it almost amounts to child abuse. Just awful.

you know it's funny because as a kid, I knew a girl who had her ears pinned back and to see the difference in her confidence/self esteem was amazing! I always maintained that I would do the same if I had a child with sticking out ears. My brother's ears stick out and I've often wondered why he never went and got it down as he would look so much more handsome. I have friends whose kid has sticking out ears and is really nerdy and I've said to my hubby on more than one occasion how I think they should get his ears pinned for his sake.

After having Jirah, I've had to seriously rethink the whole thing! I have thought about 'having Jirah's eyes done'....seriously wondered if it's something that would make life better for her because I know people will automatically treat her differently just based on how she looks. In the end though, I would never do it as it's the attitude that needs to change, not my daughter! And there's heaps of reasons to be treated differently...not just looks.

I'm almost positive that all of us at some stage have felt ostracised, ridiculed, whatever and have learnt to deal with it. And we tend not to hang out with those sorts of people. I guess it will be the same for Jirah. We won't be friends with people who are not friendly. And those that feel the need to treat her as second class, will just be missing out!

What's really sad about this story is that the parents will probably find out in the end that although her looks may be different, she's still the same inside and people will still be making wrong assumptions and possibly be expecting too much. I have friends with kids with Autism and they think I am lucky because my girl's difference is so obvious and so people make allowances. Her boys look 'ordinary' and so are expected to behave that way, and when they don't, then people 'poo poo' them.

Anyway, enough ranting! I need to eat some lunch hehehe

Cas

I said it about the artical on the other british family who were thinking of doing this to their daughter, It weirds me out just thinking that someone would do this. I understand the tongue operation but not the rest :no: The people like the other ones are also from britain, am i the only one who thinks british people are F%*&*d up

One day we were at the local pool. I had a friend's 5 year old non swimmer with me. As him and I were standing near the edge of the pool calling my older kids a boy rushed up behind and pushed the 5 year old into the pool. I had Talitha in my arms and was wondering how I could jump in and save him while not drowning her when the boy's mother jumped in and rescued him. I went off my head at her asking what was wrong with her son that he would do that to small child. She was very apologetic and explained that he was autistic and had not done anything like that for a long time. Of course to me he looked perfectly normal otherwise I would not have cracked up so badly.

I apologised for cracking up at the kid and told her that Talitha had DS. She said "At least people won't expect her to be normal, my son is always getting yelled at or treated badly because he looks normal but is severely autistic".

I think all our kids are beautiful and people who can't see that are missing out on a lot.

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am i the only one who thinks british people are F%*&*d up

um.....maybe....as I'm from Britain and I think I'm fine hehehe

Cas

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Hey yeah, I forgot about that - your son is a really great example of how love can conquer all You should be very proud

Cas

Tigger your example is my thoughts exactly! Ask any parent of a child with autism if they wish you could see it. I think 99.9% would answer YES. Besides, I think my Andy, and all of your kids too are absolutely gorgeous just as they are!

I don't really get the fixing the eyes thing? Is it just because Andy has been with us for 12 years? I really don't see what there is to fix?

On the other hand, I actually think that ear pinning is a very legitimate reason for surgery. A friend had her sons done and it definately was worthwhile.

A

I can not bring myself to read or listen to this story, it makes me feel so unbelievalbly sad for that poor little girl.

In my opinion your parents are supposed to be your safe haven, where you can turn to when the world is not kind. Here are her's betraying her and in turn letting the world know what they think of their daughter and her disability. Imagine what this will do to her when she is older and works out it was her parent's that rejected her - So so sad...

I have had to sit by my daughters bedside after 7 operations and 2 of them being emergency life-saving. I can tell you there is no way on this earth I would put her through any elective surgery, I just can't fathom it..............

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Ladybug wrote:

Here are her's betraying her and in turn letting the world know what they think of their daughter and her disability. Imagine what this will do to her when she is older and works out it was her parent's that rejected her - So so sad....

Yes, that's a good way to put it! Where will she get her self esteem from if not from her parents??

Cas

Oh Cas i didnt mean all british people I bet if the truth was told we would find alot more stories like these ones. I just think it is wrong someone wrote on one of the comments after these stories " you cant cut the down syndrome out" and thats exactly what i feel that deep down they are doing. Society is changing for the better and even though our kids will face hard times, you have to admit things are improving

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Good for you Cathy! You wrote really well and expressed everything so clearly and also without judgement Good point about where to stop because there are so MANY physical characteristics that 'give away' the DS...

Cas

The West Australian Newspaper online - thewest.com.au ran a response story and interviewed two WA families along with the DSAWA

You can comment about this story here:

The West blogs

Cas

I have asked Chezzy many times over the years if he would like to have his face changed to look more like the other gays, mainly when this kind of issues came up. He always said no, , that he liked his face thank you very much. There you are, ask the kids, is their face. Marialena

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Lucky God made us all different hey? Some people like to look like each other and others like to be different Yay! for Chezzy and his contentment with who he is (well done Maria!). And Cathy! That is so interesting... I do believe you are right with your scar. How amazing is that??

Cas

P.S. Sometimes I think about having cosmetic surgery. It's on a part of my body which nobody sees, just for my own satisfaction...but I think the cost and the pain are just not worth it. I'll just deal with not liking myself 100% hehehe

A

When I was a girl and wanted to wear makeup my mum always said, "Oh you don't need it - you're so beautiful." I would nag and nag but she just said, "34 and not before". As I got older, I could see what she was saying. My mum went and had her eyeliner tattooed on when she was about 50 I think, must've been like a birthday present to herself. I guess she figured that at that age she needed it lol. I just thought, "No way would I do that just for that!" hehehe.

The other thing that puts me off surgery is "what if they stuff up? or what if I don't actually like the 'new' look?" A bit like going to the hairdresser and getting a completely new hairstyle. Sometimes it works, and other times you've just got to wait til it grows out.

Cas